Today is just… the greatest day. You know how we always say we’re having the “Best Week Ever”? This is the first time we really mean it.
Comedian Joe Mande has unearthed what is possibly the greatest find of the post-Millennial century. They are training videos from beloved fast food chain Wendy’s, she of the coquettish braids, the smile that says “Go on, try some square meat. I promise you’ll like it.”
What he discovered is that these training videos are some of the best jams the early 90s had to offer. Soon to be classic songs like “Chili Can Be Served with Cheese”:
“Figure 8 motions… from the bottom to the top… to really get it stirred up…” Please, if you live in Asia, forward this to your nearest “Guy Who Picks the Karaoke Songs,” because I must fulfill my dream of singing this on stage.
Then, there’s the new classic “Hot Drinks,” which I think was actually on the Coming to America soundtrack, assuming there was one (which, of course, there was):
You know what I’m sayin? Yeah, I know you know it’s real. But he don’t know that you know, I know the deal. Right?
And their other song “Cold Drinks” would almost certainly count as sexual harassment these days…
But one of our favorite has got to be “Gotta Serve the Drinks,” in which I’m pretty sure they nabbed Aretha Franklin herself to sing the main theme in exchange for a bathtub full of frosty:
Do you see now why this is officially the “Best Week Ever”? How did we live before knowing how to serve the chili and it’s fast food friends?
As for me? I’m going to apply for a job at Wendy’s. TTYOOTDTW! (Talk to you out of the drive thru window!)