Michael Lohan May Perform The “You Are Not The Father” Dance On Maury

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Do you believe in destiny? Do you think that a person’s life can gradually build to one moment that represents everything he or she stands for in this world? Well, get ready to believe again, because reports say that Michael Lohan might appear on Maury to prove he did not father rumored 15-year-old daughter Ashley Horn. Ah, let’s see: it’s unnecessarily public, no one in their right mind would do it and it’s humiliating for his daughter…yup, sounds like a Michael Lohan original!

We can’t say we’re really surprised by the news. Michael Lohan’s life has been just one long, slow episode of Maury up until now; he might as well make it official.  But as much as we’d like to see Lohan do the “You are not the father” dance, hasn’t he basically been doing that with his other kids already? And they are definitely his. If anyone should be embarrassed by this super tacky move, it’s Maury Povich. It is one thing to have cotton ball men chase phobic people around the studio. But giving Michael Lohan airtime? There has to be a line somewhere, Maury.