Pigs have officially grown wings. The sky has officially fallen. Taylor Momsen has officially wiped off her racoon-eyeliner and started dressing like a nun. The Situation has officially vowed never to take off his shirt again. Snooki officially, for real,has stopped drinking.
What could have brought on events of such earth shattering proportions? What could have bent all the known laws of the universe? Y’all have heard of parallel universes, right? An alternative reality is a self-contained separate reality coexisting with one’s own “real” reality. In this case, Twitter, or the Twitterverse fits the bill. Anything can happen here, even things that are totally inverse to a normal existence. Case in point: Kanye West apologizing to Taylor Swift. Or the “ego that beats all egos” apologizes to country cutie.
Now we’ll probably never know what led to this because to read ‘Nye’s mind is to akin to deciphering Paula Abdul‘s ramblings on American Idol (we miss you, Paula!) All we have are the facts. And these are on Kanye’s Twitter account amounting to an hour and a half long rant. Which contained gems like this tweet, “I’m ready to get out of my own way. The ego is overdone… it’s like hoodies.” Or this tweet, “These tweets have no manager, no publicist , no grammar checking… this is raw.”
Obvs, the fact that the VMA’s are coming up on Sunday the 12th means that he knows that we’re wondering if he’s going to go banana split up on stage again. We’re guessing he wants the world to know that he hasn’t got any crazy left. Look at this tweet, “Beyonce didn’t need that. MTV didn’t need that and Taylor and her family friends and fans definitely didn’t want or need that.”
And after many, many, many messages, the final message he tweeted was this, “I’m sorry Taylor.” Remorse drives us to do funny things. And then we have to apologize for them. Circle of life, dudes….circle of life.
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