Britney’s Ex-Bodyguard Files Lawsuit; Alleges Abuse, Harassment And Crabmeat

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Just when you think Britney Spears has starting to climb her way back up the sanity ladder, somebody shows up to escort her back down. Britney Spear’s ex-bodyguard Fernando Flores filed a lawsuit today against the singer, accusing Brit of everything from sexual harassment to child abuse, as well as a host of other bizarre offenses. According to the lawsuit, Spears repeatedly made unwanted passes at Flores while he was her employee; in one instance Britney “intentionally dropped her cigarette lighter on the floor, bent over to retrieve it and thereby exposed her uncovered genitals” to him. So scratch that one off the sexy moves list, ladies. It does not work.

Unfortunately, not all of the accusations involve just cartoonishly awful come-ons. Flores also claims Spears beat her son Preston with a belt on at least one occasion, had sex in a hotel suite while her children played in the same room, and refused to get first aid for her sons after they had an allergic reaction to crab meat, instead screaming at her staff to, “Mind your own f**king business!” Good lord! Crab meat? Apparently Britney picked up her mothering skills from the Serial Mom School of Parenting, as well as the Basic Instinct Academy for Sexual Trainwrecks.

Flores has brought allegations of harassment and child abuse before, the latter of which the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services decided was baseless. We sincerely hope this is all just the insane dream of a disgruntled ex-bodyguard. If not, someone needs to call Papa Spears and tell him being Britney’s conservator involves more than just falling asleep by the pool.

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