Snooki Called A “Lindsay Lohan Wannabe”, Like That’s Not Why We Love Her In The First Place

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There are few slurs that can shake a true guidette to her core, but for Snooki, “Lindsay Lohan wannabe” is now one of them. At her sentencing today Snicker’s judge lambasted the Jersey girl not just for the drunken escapades that got her arrested, but for following the same dark path Lindsay Lohan staggered down a few years ago.  In addition to comparing her to Lindsay, the judge also deemed Snooki “rude and self-indulgent”, as if that isn’t the exact reason we watch Jersey Shore in the first place. He accused Snickers of basically trading her “dignity for a paycheck”. Hey! Snooki didn’t trade her dignity for a paycheck. She traded it for a paycheck, international fame, unlimited spray tan money and a Wawa Classic Hoagie, thankyouverymuch!

After his tirade the judge eventually took pity on Snooki’s tiny umber soul and gave her only 2 days community service and a $533 fine. The judge’s Lindsay dig, however, did not go unnoticed by Lohan’s loved ones. Dina Lohan managed to drag herself out of her tanning bed (aka her real bed), stumble over the empty shiraz bottles on the floor, and yell at Lindsay’s assistant long enough to fire off a response to the judge. “The family is very disappointed that a judge would say that in a court of law,” Dina claimed. “The comments were very unprofessional.” Dina then dove out of the way as Lindsay drove her Maserati through the front door, while ex-husband Michael Lohan announced his plans to open a cock fighting ring/bikini daycare center next week.