Chelsea Handler Slams Critics, Probably Has A Bigger Penis Than Perez

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Tuesday’s lesson, children, is to never get Chelsea Handler angry. You won’t like her when she’s angry. You will like it, however, when Chelsea Handler attacks her critics over Twitter. Perez Hilton was the first to snark on Chelsea’s hosting abilities at Sunday’s event, tweeting “@RyanSeacrest I think you should host the VMAs next year! Or ME! Ha! We both would have done a better job than Chelsea did!” Which, no. Chelsea lashed back,”@perezhilton oh, f*ck off. I had a blast and the show awesome last night. Bomb? Your life is a bomb.” Oh girl! You mess with the bull, and so on.

The New York Times also put Handler on blast, claiming Chelsea “never looked comfortable, undone by nerves, brittle material and the wattage of those around her” during the show,  and calling Handler “among the worst” in VMAs history. However, the ratings don’t lie. Chelsea tweeted, “Just got word…Highest rated vma’s since 2002. Good job, mtv! Good job, kiddo.” Considering the 2002 VMAs featured Michael Jackson, Britney Spears at her peak, and the very brief return of Guns N’ Roses, those ratings are probably nothing to shake a stick at.

After their tense back and forth, Perez apologized to Chelsea…sort of: “@ChelseaHandler I still think you’re usually very funny – and you probably have a larger penis than me! Xoxo”. Whether that’s an insult toward Chelsea or toward Perez, he is probably correct.  So what did you think? Do you want Chelsea back next year, or would you rather watch middle-aged Axl Rose wheeze his way through “Welcome To The Jungle”?