Do Not Read This While You Are Eating: A Glimpse Into Vince Neil’s Love Life

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Guys, we are not joking.  This is not a drill. Please put down your Hot Pocket, burrito, or bowl of Captain Crunch, whatever it is you eat when you’re getting your celebrity gossip on. Given the number of insane stories we hear a week, you would think former Mötley Crüe front man Vince Neil’s groupie escapades would barely make a blip on our radar. BUT. YOU’D. BE. WRONG. Okay, are you ready? During an interview with Hustler magazine, Vince Neil admitted that during the Crüe’s heyday:

“We were always f*cking other chicks at the studio and backstage… We would take Tommy’s (Lee) van to a restaurant called Noggles to buy these egg burritos and then rub them on our crotches to cover the smell of the girls we had just f*cked. So our d*cks smelled of eggs… We would tell our girlfriends, ‘Oh, we dropped the burritos in our laps.’ The girlfriends thought we were a bunch of clumsy slobs. We never thought about going into the restroom and just washing our d*cks.”

NOOOOOOOOOOO! *thud* Sorry, we just lost consciousness there for a second. If that isn’t the rankest thing you have ever heard in your life, congratulations, you are Vince Neil.  And as for those girlfriends… honey, if your man comes home (on multiple occasions!) with egg burrito crotch: that is a deal breaker, ladies. Even if he isn’t cheating, constant egg crotch itself is grounds for a break-up.  Okay, we wish we could spend more time thinking about this, but we have to drive to the beach, look out over the ocean and wonder why we exist in the first place. Because, damn. [Photo: Getty Images]

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