Stop Holding Your Breath, The Hootie And The Blowfish Memorial Statue Is Finally Happening!

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Guys, all our hard work and grueling campaigning has paid off! We’re finally getting a Hootie statue!!

Seminal(?) ’90′s rock(?) band Hootie And The Blowfish will have a monument erected in their honor in Columbia, S.C. next month. And friends, it is enormous. The black granite sculpture is apparently 20 feet long, 10 feet wide and at least 12 feet tall. We’re talking 2,400 cubic feet of Hootie. It is scheduled to be unveiled on October 21 in the Five Points neighborhood near the University Of South Carolina, which is also where notorious nineteenth century South Carolina gangster Bill the Butcher developed his secret barbecue rub and murdered anyone who got in his way. (Who doesn’t love Gangs Of New York jokes nestled in a Hootie post? Right?)

This makes us think, if Hootie can get a statue, who else from the 90s deserves a permanent tribute? Why haven’t we seen the Semisonic “Closing Time” Shrine? The Candlebox Commemorative Plaque? A literal Temple Of The Dog? We might just have to go on a hunger strike until these ideas come to fruition.