The Tea Party Explained, Finally!

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Leave it to a news organization in Taiwan to define the Tea Party platform for regular Americans. If you thought that Christine O’Donnell comes down hard on masturbation, wait until you see her tough stance on having sex with chickens. This animation also makes it clear that the Tea Party plays on a cruel sexual paradox: It preaches abstinence via vixens and MILFs. Just ask Karl Rove. It drives him insane with lust!

And a word of advice for Obama: Run while you still can. The Tea Party Express is racing full steam ahead. It will smoosh you. Not the Jersey Shore kind of “smoosh.” That would be a sin worthy of an eternity in hell. We’re talking “smoosh” like a bug.

Thanks to BWE video editor Pete Schultz, who is fluent in Taiwanese and most other languages, for translating this video.