Something scary has been popping up all over Hollywood (no, it’s not Lindsay Lohan): famous dudes with freakish facial hair. You may recall the growth that metastasized on Spencer Pratt‘s face recently, or perhaps you’ve noticed Conan O’Brien‘s post-Tonight Show debacle hair-bellion that has yet to subside. Earlier this year Brad Pitt got in on the act and uglified his glorious mug. But still we persevered, surviving on the smooth skinned hunks still left in LaLa Land. But when Robert Pattinson, the ultimate GWPAVTILFPPP (guy who plays a vampire that I’d like to f*ck pretty pretty please), started roaming North America with a serious “I’m trying to hide from everyone” beard, our heart officially broke in two and then grew a goatee.
Men, enough. You cannot continue uglifying yourself in this way. We ladies slave away stripping the hair off of every feasible body part we can find – the least you could do is splurge on some shaving cream and spend five minutes scrapping that roadkill of your chin. Until you do we’ll be hold up in this fortress we’ve put together made solely of razor blades. Take a hint!
10. Zac Efron
9. Robert Pattinson
8. David Beckham
7. Ryan Gosling
6. Conan O’Brien
5. John Travolta
4. Brad Pitt
3. Mel Gibson
2. Spencer Pratt
1. Joaquin Phoenix
