Hi Miley Cyrus. We’re loving this not-so-little video confessional of yours. We’re sorry that the paparazzi bug you. We’re sorry you get followed around. We’re sorry you have to resort to sitting in your mothers shoe closet – which looks bigger than our apartment – to vent at the world at large. Erm, to yours fans, we mean.
But, Miley. This is random. And while we do think you’re cute as a button in your “take me as I am” avatar, you’re also funny. Even though you’re probably not trying to be. So before you club us in with the “everyone-who-I-don’t-like” posse, here are some highlights. And thanks for letting us know you’re not engaged, getting married… or getting a boob job!
00:24-1:22 Why are you rambling about your dog. Also, “Feather [her dog] is going to be in the background, apparently, because Feather loves the camera.” So sayeth the person on camera.
2:52 “Who they heck are all these sources, I’d like to know. Because like, they’re so whack.” That’s erudite.
3:14 “Miley doesn’t need to do anything but sit and chill…” Drop Cyrus and stick with just Miley… like Cher… or Madonna! Also…we love third person referrals.
3:32 “I don’t let anyone ever affect the way I think of my art…” Your songs are art?
4:00 “I’m now sitting in my Mom’s shoe closet”. That’s your Mom’s shoe closet?
5:34-5:55 You lost us. Paparazzi! Cell phones! Cops! Wheee!
6:55 “Enjoy this beautiful time and enjoy the earth” It’s zen-Miley!
7:01 “I’m not gonna sit and complain because I gotta do amazing things” It’s been seven minutes of complaining. Where are the amazing things?
9:12 “I’m just like y’all. That’s probably gonna be the next quote ‘I’m just like y’all’. Then you’ll call me a hillbilly! I don’t care…” Oh Miley, you know us too well. And this is why we love you!