In a rare glimpse of a talk show host being literally struck speechless, Oprah Winfrey was shocked, shocked by talk of Jenny McCarthy’s unruly bikini line on her show yesterday. Winfrey’s jaw practically dropped onto the sound stage as McCarthy shared TMI times ten about showing up to her first Playboy shoot au naturale.
Jenny all but used hand puppets to explain how, “All of a sudden I hear WOAH, WOAH! And I said is there anything on it? What’s wrong?” It took a kindly makeup artist to explain to Jenny, “They said they never saw anyone as hairy as you in their entire life!”. The same stylist then joked about the brush she had used to comb out McCarthy’s lady bits, saying, “I guess I’m not using this one again!” Pardon us while we die, forever.
If we were Oprah, who finishes her show’s final season next year, we would have made Gayle King fetch us a lavender eye pillow, shut off all the lights in the studio and made everyone go home after that story. That woman is too rich and too famous to deal with celebrities’ huge vintage bushes. She’s basically making John Travolta fly 300 people to Australia, for pete’s sake! She doesn’t need to hear about anybody’s Muppet-looking lap mop.