The Grand Adventures Of The Situation And His Pinky-Sized Package

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Keep your eyes on those abs, ladies. Do not let them continue down the body. We knew there was no way someone could get, and stay, huge as The Situation if they weren’t “compensating” for something a little smaller below the belt. We mean, look at him! He must have started doing crunches in the womb.  According to one of the very many ladies he bedded while in Miami, the truth is that The Situation is packing a teeny, tiny, itsy bitsy situation…in his pants. Says club promoter and brief lover of our Jersey boy Melody Eckerson, “Let’s just say, I’m thinking of my pinky”. O snap! A million snaps. Steroids are a hell of a drug, man.

Continues Eckerson, “I wouldn’t even call it a one-night stand, because he only lasted a few minutes.” Dang girl! Normally we’d rush to the Sitch’s defense (eh, not really) but considering all the cracks he’s made at the expense of the various chicken cutlets, hippos and grenades that have splashed through that hot tub, he should have known at least one of them was going to come back and bite him in the crotch. With great abs comes great responsibility. And apparently, a baby-sized wiener. [Photo: Getty Images]