Logo’s The A-List: New York starts tonight and, despite what you may have heard, it is far from another Real Housewives clone. For example: way less bad plastic surgery, way more hot guys making out. In order to get you ready for the premiere, let us present you with the show’s top ten “guilty pleasure” moments, the ones that will make you embarrassed to admit how much you love The A-List…until you realize that everyone else secretly does too.
1. More chiseled abs than your eyeballs can handle: Best known as Lance Bass‘ ex and a former Amazing Race competitor, Reichen Lumkuhl cannot seem to keep his shirt on. And we ain’t complaining! Especially considering Reichen has what is commonly known in the medical community as a “24-pack.” When examining a photo he took for a fashion shoot, Reichen murmurs, “Your eyes go right to the nipples.” Believe us, yours will too.
2. Kelly Rowland has already made a cameo: Edgy fashion photographer Mike Ruiz shoots a veritable parade of fabulous guest stars, the first being a divalicious Rowland, wearing a jacket constructed out of toy lion heads. “Your girls look fierce”, Mike reassures her, which is what everyone wants to hear when they are wearing leather bat wings as a hat.
3. Lindsay Lohan crashes on their sofas: Former model and current model manager Derek Saathoff proudly describes how Lohan sleeps at his place while she visits New York. We hope he remembers to flip those couch cushions over when she leaves!
4. Promise of adorable gaybies in the future: Hairstylist to the rich and famous, Ryan Nickulas plans to adopt with husband Desmond, meaning that the show might have soon little babies in addition to ripped dudes. Excuse us while we pass out under this coffee table for a while.
5. TJ the assistant: The funniest person on the show, Ryan’s assistant TJ Kelly is basically Brad Goreski from The Rachel Zoe Project with a splash of RHONY’s Bethany, except meaner and with a better stack of one-liners. At one point TJ explains how he calls things that are terrible “delicious” to avoid conflict. We love him already.
6. Celebrity exes galore: Aside from Reichen’s romance with Lance, model Austin Armacost used to date designer Marc Jacobs when he was an itty-bitty baby-faced 18 year old getting into the biz. Explains Austin, “When I was dating Marc and flying in private jets and having dinner with the Beckhams it was fantastic, but at the end of the day that s**t is only tangible. There’s no emotion, no depth to it.” But that’s not going to stop him from trying to get back on top again! 2 years and 20lbs later, Austin is “fat” by model standards, which means he’s still thinner than 98% of the planet. If he can drop those pounds, he might be able to scramble back up to greatness…
7. Musical numbers!: Reichen’s latest endeavor is a starring role in My Big Gay Italian Wedding, an all-singing, all-dancing extravaganza that the whole cast attends in the first episode. How does it go? Well, needless to say, it is truly delicious.
8. Austin The Trouble Maker: Did we mention Austin also dated Reichen? Which sort of explains why he immediately assumes the Jill Zarin drama-mama role in stirring up conflict…until he starts sniffing Reichen’s boyfriend Rodiney Santiago like a dog in the most weirdly macho display imaginable. It’s the kind of bizarre behavior Danielle Staub wishes she thought of first.
9. Did we mention the abs?: Oh, we did? Well, it bears repeating. Because, damn.
10. Hot Tub Time!: If Jersey Shore has taught reality TV shows anything, it is that America loves a hot tub. Reichen and Rodiney hit the tub early and often, but we’re betting the whole cast experiences mild-to-severe pruning before we get to episode 3.