Victoria Beckham Too Busy Staring At David’s Hot Body To Hear His Squeaky Voice

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How we love it when celebrities confirm what everyone’s been saying behind their backs. We had always assumed Victoria Beckham was too busy drooling over David’s body to hear his oddly high voice, and we love being right! Says Victoria, “I don’t really notice that he’s got a high-pitched voice. I just think he’s so goddamn perfect that people have to find something wrong with him.” We can all agree that David Beckham is so profoundly hot, he must have at least one flaw or the universe would implode on itself. But honestly, when you see him talk, he comes off like Tweety Bird and Mickey Mouse’s  super-jacked, tattoo-covered baby.

Claims Victoria, “He just naturally looks good all the time. He never looks like s**t in the morning. Never. So he’s sitting there sending his e-mails, all ripped. Not an ounce of fat on him. And I thought,’You done good, girl.’ I sure wasn’t thinking of his high-pitched voice.” The reporter then doused Victoria with ice-cold water until she stopped panting long enough to finish the interview. All kidding aside, we really do appreciate her honesty. David’s voice might set off car alarms, but once  you have your tongue in his mouth you can probably pretend he sounds like Gerard Butler, or Bea Arthur, or anyone else with a beautiful baritone voice. [Photo: Getty Images]