Watch out paparazzi! Russell Brand is looking to shove dudes and smash cameras, and not even the law can’t stop him! Arrested for battery following a run-in with a photographer he claims was taking an upskirt of lady friend Katy Perry, it turns out Russell Brand won’t be charged with anything. Now if you want to see Katy Perry’s underwear, you’ll just have to look at EVERY CONCERT PHOTO OF KATY PERRY EVER TAKEN.
Says the L.A. City Attorney’s Office spokesman Frank Mateljan of the dismissal, “This is the only action as of now. Based on the info, it has been determined that this is the most appropriate action at this time.” Mateljan then clutched his giant portfolio of Katy Perry panty pictures to his chest and gave a big wink. Oddly, while Brand won’t be thrown in the clink anytime soon, he must meet the photographer who put him under citizen’s arrest in court on Nov. 19, either to hug it out or be yelled at by a judge, we’re not sure. Wow, don’t let people know they can put unruly celebs under citizen arrest. Lindsay Lohan won’t be able to make it to the mailbox without being slide-tackled. [Photo: Getty Images]