For Michael Lohan, Going On A Bender Means “I Love You”

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Hallmark, it’s time to come out with a new line of cards. “Here’s a card to say I love you. Because at the moment I’m too drunk to form words with my mouth.”

In a touchingly stupid display of paternal love, Michael Lohan is threatening to go on a drinking binge in order to show his daughter how much he cares about her. Big Mike is considering getting intentionally sent to the Betty Ford Clinic in an effort to get close to Lindsay, who still refuses to see him. According to TMZ, he intends to show up at the clinic and “cause a scene” in order to gain admittance. Don’t try to follow the logic, because it isn’t there.

In what seems like a bizarre and dark Mrs. Doubtfire sequel, the elder Lohan is even willing to stage his own arrest to convince the Betty Ford doctors that he is serious. Err, we’re pretty sure that’s not how it works. But more importantly, we finally have concrete proof that Michael Lohan thinks that drinking will literally solve his problems. No wonder Lindsay’s in such a mess. If you love her, let her go, Mike. She’ll come around. Just don’t give up the cranberry juice.

[Photo: Images]