Jenny McCarthy Dated A Chubby, Hairy Guy Who Lived In A Shed. All Signs Point To Bear.

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No, that isn’t some gross euphemism (that we’re aware of). Jenny McCarthy really did go out with a “chubby, hairy” guy who lived in a shed. Jenny explained, “It was one of those shacks that you buy at Wal-Mart that you stick your lawn mower in. It was a shed.” Now, we aren’t going to rag on chubby and hairy since that’s our personal type (Seth Rogen, it’s not too late to break off your engagement and get with this hotness!), but damn Jenny. Isn’t it a dealbreaker when he invites you back for a nightcap and you end up having to sit on a leaf blower to drink it?

Admitted Jenny, “He had like 15 blankets…that he called a futon”. We have fifteen pairs of shoes; doesn’t mean we can pile them up and call it a hot tub. But Jenny had a rationale for why in god’s name she stuck with it: “I was thinking ‘This would make a great husband and a great dad, because I’m as good as he’s gonna get.’” Yeah, that is so frustrating. You meet the perfect spouse and baby daddy, then you find out he sleeps in a garden shed.  Where was this shed even located, by the way? Did Jenny not care that her boyfriend lived in someone else’s back yard? Sudden the whole Jim Carrey thing is starting to make a lot more sense to us, standards-wise…

What finally made Jenny realize Shed Man wasn’t the one? “I was laying there thinking ‘Wait a minute, I’m kind of hot! What am I doing?!” Like hotness has anything to do with it! How about just not wanting to use a bag of fertilizer as a pillow? Or freeze to death when it drops below 30 degrees? Waaaaaait just one minute..big, hairy, lives outside, sleeps in a shed that may or may not even belong to him…you guys, Jenny McCarthy went out with a bear! Ugh. Ladies, is there anything more embarrassing than accidentally going on a date with a grizzly?  We doubt it, but if there is, we’re sure Jenny McCarthy will share it with the world soon enough.