There’s a lot of rumors swirling around about Kanye West’s oral situation, but despite what you may have heard, Kanye maintains that his diamond teeth are real, not a grill…and we believe him. When interviewed for November’s Vanity Fair about why he had the jewels permanently embedded in his choppers, West thoughtfully replied, “I just like diamond teeth and I didn’t feel like having to take them out all the time.” He just a busy man who likes diamond teeth, you guys. Is that really such a crime?
Kanye also explained his oral situation while a guest on Ellen, asserting “It’s really my real teeth…It’s like replaced my bottom row of teeth. I just thought the diamonds were cooler.” Regular teeth are pretty boring when you think about it: plain, smooth, white. Or in our case, deep mustard yellow. Though unfortunately for West, “I have to go to the dentist all the time to maintain it.” Wow, do dentists not have to take some sort of oath to not ruin your teeth? If not, can we get that dentist’s number?!?
The reason we believe Kanye really has jewel-teeth? Because he’s Kanye West: musician, megalomaniac, and now, partially made out of diamonds. As West explained to Ellen, “It’s just certain stuff rock stars are supposed to do.” Exactly! Seriously, why are Lady Gaga and Kanye not working together yet? Or better yet, married? Imagine the beautiful drag cyborg babies they’d create.
So what do you think? Does a mouth full of gems make Kanye just more of an a-hole…or does it make him so much of an a-hole that he has looped back around to being College Dropout-era awesome again? I think you now how we feel about it. We think you know how we feel about it.