BOARDWALK EMPIRE RECAP: Welcome To The Party, Gretchen Mol’s Boobs

|

This is a Recap of Boardwalk Empire Episode 6, “Family Limitation”, originally airing October 24th, 2010. It contains spoilers, mostly boob related. Boilers.

With both Nucky’s mistress and guest star Gretchen Mol naked in the first fifteen minutes of this episode, Boardwalk Empire has now successfully managed to work boobs into its first SIX episodes, almost assuredly an unprecedented mark for a non-pornographic HBO series. Even True Blood missed one episode in the first six, didn’t it? Episodes of Real Sex don’t even have boobs in them this frequently, unless you count the boobs of 55-year-old men being dipped into ink vials during segments about Colonial Penmanship fetishes.

Oh, and we even got a bonus d*ck! Hey there, Lucky’s penis that’s also kind of a plot point! Truly something for everyone in this series. Especially people who LOVE to see the same frickin’ shot of Jimmy’s mistress having her face slashed in two straight “Previously On Boardwalk Empire…” segments AFTER you saw it the first time and cringed and never wanted to see it again.

Yessir, this show’s got it all! Old timey vagina slang, two “Dago”s per minute, and dudez shot in the head galore. Enough boob-talk – “Family Limitation” Recap after the jump:

We open on the chubby Ward Boss O’Neill being insulted by a young street thug, and when the kid spits on him and runs away, O’Neill chases him right into a trap, getting knocked unconscious with one of those old whacker things before he can yell “dago” fifteen more times. The D’Alessio Brothers make off with his money (eg Nucky’s money), knowing he had already made his last collection, and when he goes to tell Nucky about the theft, obviously Nucky’s like “Eh, no big deal, we’re not all constantly obsessed with who owes who money on this show or anything. Let’s get a funnel cake.”

Margaret, meanwhile, goes to visit the head of the Temperance League to ask for advice about Nucky having sex with her and buying her and her family a house, and the mother is like “Not gonna lie, that’s pretty sweet. I mean, you’re technically a whore, but like, who wouldn’t do that?” She gives Margaret a pamphlet about birth control, but when Margaret opens it up, it’s just a drawing of The Pope going “You Pussy!”

Margaret then encounters Lucy at the French boutique, and Lucy demands to see Margaret try on a crotchless garment she’s picked out, hoping to demean Nucky’s other love interest while also scoring a rare HBO show “boob hat trick.” Margaret reluctantly undresses in front of Lucy — though the scene was pretty obviously edited to incorporate a body double for Kelly Macdonald — and when Lucy spitefully rips on Margaret’s “childbearing” figure, Margaret grows a pair and snaps back “He doesn’t seem to mind.”

The awkward exchange concludes with Margaret telling a story — is every actor in this show contractually obligated to get at least one “story” at some point in the series? — and zinging Lucy with the line “Maybe your CUNY isn’t the draw you think it is.” Not sure why she takes a random shot at the City University of New York, but hey, I’m just passing along the info.

Meanwhile, Lucky is having sex with Gillian, but gets a call from Rothstein being like “I know whatcher doing over there! Don’t make me chalk up another pool cue for a half hour.” Rothstein also clarifies to Lucky that Gillian is Jimmy’s mother, not his wife, which I guess was supposed to be a “you dummy!” moment, but everyone else has already made that mistake. Gretchen Mol is 37 and Michael Pitt is 29 — it’s as ridiculous as, say, if Sean Connery played Harrison Ford’s father in a movie and kept calling him “Junior.”

The bulk of the plot in this episode, though, focused on the Chicago gang and their ongoing negotiations over the Greektown territory. Johnny Torrio tells Jimmy and Al he wants to strike a truce, but Jimmy sits Torrio down and tells him he thinks a truce looks weak, so they hatch an alternative plan:

Torrio, Jimmy, and Al sit down with Sheridan for a meeting, and after removing their guns and almost cutting Jimmy’s throat with his own knife (“I only use it to do that cool Bishop thing from Aliens, I swear”), Sheridan agrees to give them a three-block area of Greektown so everyone’s happy. And boy, everyone is happy. Yessir. You know what gangsters always appreciate? Not getting more of stuff.

On the way out, Jimmy and Al pick up stashed guns and shoot Sheridan and all his goons before they can react:

Jimmy then gives a final speech to Sheridan and personally shoots him in the head for cutting Pearl’s face. Later on that night, Jimmy gathers some money together and mails it to Angela:

I also couldn’t help but laugh at the constant muffled sex noises in the background throughout the scene where Jimmy was writing the letter. It makes sense, because it is a whorehouse, but I just kept imagining the Boardwalk Empire producers bringing actresses into a sound studio to record like twenty minutes of sex noise B-Roll, then an editor sifting through the tapes of audio to find the best background sex noise and layering it in. Somewhere in the Boardwalk Empire studios, there’s a tape floating around with nothing but like 60 minutes of actresses faking orgasms on it. There has to be. The scene’s funny now, right?

Anyway…while going through the cabinets, Jimmy stumbles across another tragic secret about Pearl:

While celebrating with the gang downstairs, Jimmy and Al end up trading insults (“When this guy sits around the house, he sits AROUND the house your girlfriend shot herself in the head!”). The insults get slightly personal, but Al comes to Jimmy’s room later that night to make amends — likely anticipating their eventual takeover of Torrio’s empire — calling Jimmy a “buddy” and handing him a package of Chicago steaks:

The episode concludes, obviously, with Agent Van Alden propping a photo of Margaret on his nightstand and whipping the sh*t out of his own back with a belt. PREDICTABLE.

Boardwalk Empire Episode 6 thoughts? Favorite / least favorite parts? Comments on the overboobage? Predictions? Boob predictions? Leave ‘em in the comments.