Miley Cyrus Is Illiterate…In Spanish!

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We might not be gorgeous, long-legged millionaire pop stars, but at least we know how to ask for the check if we ever save enough money to vacay in Mexico. And given that Miley Cyrus failed Spanish, that means we finally have one up on her. Admits Cyrus, “I failed Spanish. I’m really, really bad at it. It’s not really the words; it’s the pronunciation that’s the hard part.” Yeah, it’s not really the words, it’s how the human mouth makes sounds and how people hear them. We’re not going to lie; half the time we can barely understand what Miley is saying, and that’s when girlfriend is speaking English. Given Cryus’s smokey nasal drawl, her Spanish accent must sound like a seductive hillbilly robot. Which is a role that would make a great follow-up to Miley’s P.I. movie!

Prudes and nerds everywhere may have flown into a snit last week when photographers caught Miley holding a beer in a Spanish club, but this revelation explains everything. You guys, Miley was just trying to sound out the “Corona” on the label! Or maybe she was getting so bombed, she couldn’t have read Spanish if she was born in Madrid. The point is, we support learning in all its forms.

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