This is a recap of the sixth episode of A&E’s new television program, Teach: Tony Danza. Due to shrinking ratings, A&E decided to cut their losses and just air the two final episodes of the season Friday night. There is nothing pointing to a second season.
Well, guys. Here’s a terrible thing that happened. I spent 7 hours yesterday writing an epically long post about the the 6th episode of Teach: Tony Danza. Why so long? Because, completely out of the blue, IT WAS AN AMAZING EPISODE!! It was a genuinely good hour of television that blew my mind and completely changed my view of Tony Danza. I wrote the single longest blog post about it that I have ever written. And then right before I went to publish it, I clicked the save button and everything disappeared except the first paragraph. I didn’t even know that could happen if you weren’t in a sitcom. There was a whole IT team made of a guy named John looking into it, but all they could find was a record of me uploading 14 some-odd pictures. No text.
I guess the internet just wasn’t ready for a positive recap of a Teach: Tony Danza episode. And I’m not going to rewrite the whole thing. I can’t. I really just can’t. But here’s the first paragraph of the post that actually did get saved.
This episode was absolutely a game changer. Most of you have probably heard of what is known as the Infinite Monkey Theorem. There are multiple incarnations of the theorem with differing numbers of monkeys and what not, but basically, the idea is this: If you put a bunch of monkeys in a room with a bunch of typewriters for an infinite period of time, eventually one of them, just by chance, will end up hitting the typewriter keys in the exact order that will write out the entire play of Hamlet by William Shakespeare. I think something similar happened here with the sixth episode of Teach: Tony Danza because it was absolutely amazing. The only other option is that A&E and Tony Danza teamed up to make five terrible episodes of television just as some evil, twisted prelude to an unprecedentedly cathartic penultimate episode.
Everything else is gone. And I’m so upset about it, that I’ve lost all my good will towards Tony Danza. So, now, instead of talking about any of the good stuff that happened, I’m going to post a video of Tony Danza being a complete f*ck on the principal’s birthday.
The finale will be recapped next week.