Meet Our Favorite Orthodox Jewish Rapper, Shyne

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Sorry Matisyahu, but we have a new Orthodox Jewish Rapper to fetishize:

Meet Shyne. Hebrew name: Moses Michael Leviy. That’s him in that oh-not-so-photoshopped looking image above. Now, if you’ve heard of Shyne, sorry, Moses, then chances are you know his story. He’s best known not so much for his rapping ability, but for going to jail on an attempted murder charge after a Manhattan nightclub shooting that involved his mentor Puff Daddy and then girlfriend Jennifer Lopez.

Shyne spent 9 years in jail for the incident, and has since been deported from the United States back to his native country of Belize.

And now, Shyne is living the life that my Grandfather so badly wished for me and my sibling: He is an orthodox Jew living in Jerusalem and studying the Talmud. Well, Grandpa, maybe if more hot rappers were reading the Torah, I’d be more inclined to devote myself to the ortho-J lifestyle.

Annnnyway, good for Shyne but even better for the Ruchel’s and Tziporah’s of the world who have longed to spend their life with a once successful rapper but never knew how to. Get in there, ladiessss.