Mel Gibson Had To Slap His Girlfriend To Save His Baby, Says Mel Gibson

|

59557491

We think we finally figured out why Mel Gibson has been acting so insane for the last…as long as we can remember: he was just trying to save babies! According to a recently released declaration he filed July 23, Gibson slapped Oksana Grigorieva in an attempt to save their baby Lucia after Oksana became “hysterical” and he feared she would accidentally hurt the child. Well, in that case, slap away Mr. Gibson! The slapping floor is yours!

Explained Mel. “I slapped Oksana one time with an open hand in an attempt to bring her back to reality. I did not slap her hard, I was just trying to shock her so that she would stop screaming, continuing shaking Lucia back and forth.” Ugh, we really hope none of this is true. It’s bad enough picturing a baby in danger, but when Mel Gibson is the sane person in a situation? You know things have taken a turn for the epically terrible.

Said Gibson in the report, “While I do not believe I handled the situation as well as I should have, I was worried about the rough way Oksana was shaking and tossing Lucia around.” AS WELL AS I SHOULD HAVE. Now that’s the understatement of the year. And we’re assuming Oksana was running around shaking that baby all over for no reason. Certainly not in response to anything her belligerent mad man of a boyfriend was doing. No siree bob….

According to the declaration, Mel also says he did not hit Oksana or knock any of her teeth, false or otherwise, out of her mouth. “There was never any blood on Oksana and none of her teeth were ‘broken,’ although one of the false veneers from a tooth apparently did come off, I did not see that occur at the time.” Well if Mel didn’t see it, it must have not happened! Glad to have that all cleared up. Now pardon us while we curl into a tiny ball in the corner for a few hours and quietly mumble to ourselves. [Photo: Getty Images]