SNL Power Rankings: Scarlett Johansson Runs The Only Accent She Can Do Into The Ground

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There was a time, around the middle of the last decade, when there were few people alive who could stack up against the radiant sexuality of Scarlett Johansson. Between Ghost World, Lost in Translation and Match Point, it seemed as if she would be the kind of husky-voiced siren who would be a silver screen staple for many moons to come. However, over the last five years or so, something shifted and Scarlett lost a significant amount of her luster. So much so, in fact, that she doesn’t even have a project to promote this holiday season which, oddly enough, didn’t proclude SNL‘s bookers from giving her a third chance to host the show.

Sadly, as Michelle pointed out this morning, it didn’t exactly go over like hotcakes those awesome looking new pancake/sausage bites from Dunkin’ Donuts. Multiple sketches resulted in her falling back on her Bronx by way of New Jersey accent, and her performance in “Stars of Tomorrow” nearly derailed an excellent performance by Vanessa Bayer. The only good news is this: Now that she’s only two hosting gigs away from joining the illustrious Five Timers Club, we’re guessing that Lorne won’t give her another chance to host until she’s done something to earn it.

But how did the rest of the cast fare? Follow along for our weekly look at who’s in and out of Lorne’s doghouse, Bwe.tv’s SNL Power Rankings.


SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE POWER RANKINGS: 11/13/10 (Host: Scarlett Johansson; Musical Guest: Arcade Fire)

1. Fred Armisen (41 points): Yes yes, it wasn’t necessarily the funniest week of Fred Armisen’s long and storied SNL career, but he did carry a bulk of the workload this evening. His Obama impression remains the comedic equivalent of an old man who refuses to trim his nose hairs — sure, he’s earned the right to do whatever he wants, but it would probably be better for all parties involved if they were judiciously trimmed — but you can’t help but love his character Mike, who’s constantly trying to impress his worldly knowledge of chandeliers, marble columns and now ceramic busts upon the television viewing public (not to mention showcase his lovely if thickly accented daughter).

2. Kristen Wiig (39 points): For the first time this season, I didn’t find myself wanting to stab my eyes out and plug my ears with industrial-strength cotton (that’s a thing, right?) when Wiig came on screen. Her Paula Deen sketch contained her most well-crafted celebrity impression since she debuted Suze Orman almost three years ago, and I remain impressed with Wiig’s dogged determination to never break character, even when she is under attack from Slurpees and bowls of spaghetti.

3. Bill Hader (29 points): Has there ever been anyone better in the history of the show at delivering the perfect facial expression at the right time? I’d be hard pressed to name one. Hader is a treasure and an integral part of the show’s backbone, someone who consistently delivers the funny every time he’s on screen. Whenever he decides to leave, it will be a sad day for us all.

4. (tie) Vanessa Bayer, Andy Samberg (27 points): As viewers, we’re all still getting to learn about the four new cast members that entered the fray on SNL this season. Now that we’re approximately 1/3 of the way through the season, it’s looking more and more like Vanessa Bayer will be the breakout star of the bunch. A few weeks back, Bayer’s Miley Cyrus killed, and this week, she took leading roles in two sketches — the aforementioned Millionaire Matchmaker and “Stars of Tomorrow” — and knocked out two excellent performances. Plus, she finally got a chance to strut her stuff during Weekend Update! The crowd might not have “got” it, but viewers at home certainly did.

As for Samberg, what was that? (In a good way!)

6. Jay Pharoah (20 points): Gabe “Videogum” Delahaye said it best: “Saturday Night Live has wildly over-estimated the American public’s hunger for Denzel Washington impersonations this season.”

7. Taran Killam (17 points): He hasn’t really delivered a signature performance yet, but he has managed to steal a lot of Jason Sudeikis’ screen time playing supporting characters in sketches.

8. Nasim Pedrad (15 points): Her main appearance of the night as Chinese presiden Hu Jintao’s translator, which was a note-for-note repeat of the performance she gave last year.

9. Abby Elliott (13 points): Any way you slice it, Elliott is struggling. Her Ke$ha was basically her Brittany Murphy impression with glittery face paint and, three seasons in, she has yet to create a memorable character.

10. Bobby Moynihan (12 points): Not much to say here except BRING BACK MARK PAYNE!

11. Paul Brittain (11 points): Brittain didn’t really do anything of note this weekend, so instead, we’ll point you in the direction of his performance as “Sex” Ed Vincent back in his Second City days.

12. Kenan Thompson (9 points): His work as the middle school student who kept breaking his knee because of his susceptibility to peer pressure was original, but didn’t really register as “funny” in studio or at home during repeat viewings.

13. Jason Sudeikis (8 points): How disinterested was Sudeikis this weekend? He didn’t even bother to PUT ON A PAIR OF PANTS when he came out on stage as George Bush. Then again, maybe he was being Method?

[via Interesting Stuff]

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE POWER RANKINGS: SEASON 36 TOTALS
1. Kristin Wiig (188 points; Last Week: #1)
2. ⇑ Fred Armisen (182 points; Last Week: #4)
3. ⇓ Bill Hader (174 points; Last Week: #2)
4. ⇓ Andy Samberg (170 points; Last Week: #3)
5. Kenan Thompson (140 points; Last Week: #5)
6. Jason Sudeikis (106 points; Last Week: #6)
7. Bobby Moynihan (95 points; Last Week: #7)
8. Nasim Pedrad (94 points; Last Week: #8)
9. Taran Killam (89 points; Last Week: #9)
10. ⇑ Vanessa Bayer (85 points; Last Week: #11)
11. ⇑ Jay Pharoah (77 points; Last Week: #13)
12. ⇓ Paul Brittain (72 points; Last Week: #10)
13. ⇓ Abby Elliott (71 points; Last Week: #11)

Reference Materials:
Need a refresher on the Scoring System?
Here’s this week’s sketch-by-sketch breakdown:

Also, did you know that we’re showing classic episodes of SNL every night on VH1? It’s true!

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