Beyonce’s Parents Might Not Be Getting Divorced, Because Beyonce’s Life Is Perfect

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If you needed further proof that Beyonce’s life is perfect and blessed and covered with a thin golden layer of angel kisses…well, you could probably just look at her. Seriously, look at that woman. Good lord. Anyway, for those of you who thought there must be some tiny flaw in the diva’s life, it looks like you’re going to have to eat your words, as rumors abound that Beyonce’s parents are not getting divorced after all.

If you recall, mama Tina Knowles filed for divorce in fall 2009 after finding out that husband Matthew Knowles may have made a future pop superstar with a woman who wasn’t his wife; the baby later proved to be Beyonce’s dad’s, and Tina slapped him with papers a month later. However, sources say that neither party showed up in court in Harris County, Texas yesterday to begin the divorce trial. Which could be a result of their solid gold alarm clocks both failing to work at the same time, but is more likely evidence that they don’t want to actually go through with it…for now. The judge dismissed the case after no one showed, and (we’re assuming) Beyonce stepped back from her crystal ball in heaven and clapped the fairy dust off her hands. Another day’s hard work done.

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