Not every celebrity spends their birthday trashing it up at some corporate-sponsored bash. Jake Gyllenhaal tells the New York Daily News he’ll spend his upcoming big 3-0 scuba diving in the Arctic with his family. “The only reason I’m doing it is I wanted to do something that absolutely terrified me—killer whales and walruses and freezing cold water? That seems absolutely terrifying.” You think you’re terrified, Jake? Imagine all the young female walruses worried that Jake Gyllenhaal is going to scuba dive his way right into their homes! All those ladies up north are probably waxing their facial hair and going on crash diets, hoping dad doesn’t embarrass them by rolling around and doing that stupid clapping thing he does whenever he thinks someone’s going to give him a fish. Ugh, he’s such a doofus!
Jake also told the reporter about the time he tried to steal a speedo while wearing it—and nothing else (“[My friend] said, ‘I dare you to go in there, put on a Speedo in the dressing room and walk out to see if they follow you. No clothes.’ I was tackled by security guards as the alarm went off, but I just kept walking and walking, right down through the marble hall. It was pretty exciting”). Jake’s actually told that story before, but as long as there’s one fan (walrus or otherwise) who hasn’t been given that mental picture, it’s probably worth telling again.
[Photo: Getty Images]