This year, Jessica Simpson’s vegan Thanksgiving plans with fiance Eric Johnson mark the first Turkey Day the two will have spent together as a couple…as well as the first where Jessica didn’t get to tear into a warm, delicious turkey like a rabid raccoon. While on Jimmy Fallon’s show last night, Simpson complained, “After getting out of the NFL, [Eric] went to this healer and is very healthy. For Thanksgiving we have to make a Tofurkey! It doesn’t sound right! It’s gonna be jiggly and weird.” Jeez, Jessica, just suffer through one day of tofu and you can go back to normal, non-jiggly meat foods. Like hot dogs. Besides, there’s always vegan pie. Just eat 12 slices. We’ll be doing that anyway, and we’re not even vegan!
Simpson also explained that where she’s from, “veganism” actually translates into “bacon on the side, please.” While Jessica admits “when [Eric] cooks vegan, it’s good,” she explains,”I’m from Texas Ã¢â‚¬â€œ I’d fry a steak. We eat all casseroles and giblets!” We hope the happy couple has a great holiday, but even more than that we hope Jessica enjoys her first Thanksgiving meal where one of her relatives’ hearts doesn’t burst like a water balloon from a massive giblet overdose.