While chatting last night with Conan O’Brien, the Kardashians revealed the ultimate in secret beauty tips: slathering mayonnaise on your vagina! Explained Kourtney, “I told Khloe that I found her sex mask under my bed, that she’s been looking for, and then she wrote me back, ‘Oh my god, I found your jar of mayonnaise that you use on your vagina.'” It just gives it that extra zip! Said Kourtney, “People were like, what does mayonnaise on your vagina do? And we said it makes it shine like the top of the Chrysler Building.” Shine like a beacon of American progress, ladies!
Wet blanket Kim quickly stepped in, complaining, “Talking about putting mayonnaise on your thing is not appropriate,” which is pretty ironic coming from the one Kardashian who has shown her Miracle Whip to the entire world. Eventually the ladies admitted that it had all been one big Twitter-fueled joke. Oh yeah…we totally knew they were kidding. On a totally unrelated note, do you think Costco takes returns? And do you think we can return a half-used drum of Hellmann’s?