By now, anyone who keeps up with the latest technologies in vagina accessorizing has heard about Vajazzling, emblazoning your mons pubis with the finest of Swarovski crystals. But have you heard of “Tajazzle”? A mysterious infomercial has popped up online about “Tajazzling,” and while it takes a good 7 minutes to get to the point, they swear it will make you feel more “confident” knowing you look, smell, and (NC-17 word, prepare yourselves) taste as good as can be. “From Pretty Woman to Glamorous Goddess” seems to be the running thing, despite the fact that 99 percent of the people in the ad are on disability for not being mentally whole.
And the acting!!! The acting is BEYOND TO DIE FOR!! Here is the video, but we’ve given you some timecodes for the best moments below:
:33: I TAJAZZLE EVERY DAY — LINE.
1:49: “And the best part is? The sparkling surprise only my lover gets to see.”
2:33: It also works on transgendered ladies, cool.
3:02: He looks thrilled.
3:36: “Whoa, busted.”
4:48: If you think the Tajazzling actresses are bad, imagine how terrible the folks placed in the background must be.
7:20!!!!!!!!! MEN CAN USE IT TOO!!!! Look at that Greek God talk about Tajazzling himself. The flavors make his wife go wild!! So do his eyebrows.
9:42: Holy sh*t this is unreal. IT ACTUALLY GETS BETTER.
12:08: This woman has felt invisible in bars AND casting sessions.
14:06: TAJAZZ HANDS!
There’s a part two out there, but do you really need to see it? You’ve already ordered 3 of them, haven’t you. Well, look at the time, my vagina has an appointment with CONFIDENCE this evening, so I must bid you goodbye. Farewell. (whisper) Tajazzle.
With thanks to the keeper of all the best net vids, Joselyn Hughes.