Taylor Swift Celebrates Best Birthday Ever In Lamest Possible Fashion


61618247rnrnWhat did you do the night you turned 21 years old? We imagine it involved hitting the local watering hole with a few of your closest friends and tossing back sexually-themed (and totally gross tasting) shots like Blow Jobs, Buttery Nipples and Screaming Orgasms. Not Taylor Swift, though! Instead of letting loose on the one night it’s socially acceptable to get drunk as a skunk, the eternally prissy pop princess celebrated her 21st birthday in the most boring way possible, with a “super low key,” alcohol-free pizza party at her house. As Taylor herself would say, “What?”rnrnNow, it’s not that we condone going a role model like Taylor going out getting sloshed every night of the week (even though we tend to). Rather, it’s just that we wish that Taylor would stop acting like a sheltered adolescent and start acting like the worldly adult that she clearly is. After all, she already acknowledged that she got horizontal with the horndog John Mayer, so it’s not like she’s all that innocent. Drop the phony pretensions, Swifty, toss back a Budweiser or an appletini (your choice!), and let your freak flag fly! Or, at the very least, hit the bowling alley and knock back a White Russian, Big Lebowski style.rnrn[Photo: Artist’s rendering of Taylor’s indulging in a pepperoni slice at her pizza party]

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