Joel Madden Blindsided By Wedding Elephant

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We were already a little iffy about Nicole Richie’s wedding elephant (you can’t tell us that thing didn’t poop EVERYWHERE, you guys), but knowing that Joel Madden didn’t know about the elephant beforehand makes it seem even weirder. “I was like, ‘what?’” said Joel when he first spied the beast. “Then I just laughed- Nicole getting an elephant and not telling me is typical of our relationship.” That’s something you should take to couples counseling, Joel, not brag about to People. Our fiance secretly hiring a circus animal to attend the happiest day of our lives seems like the kind of thing that would give us trust issues.

According to Joel, however, nothing can conquer love, not even a shopping spree at the zoo. Though Madden says he’s usually the “no guy”, he admits “But if there’s one time I want her to have the craziest thing she wants, it’s the day we marry.” That’s drling, though we would still flip out if our beloved pulled anything like that. The only gigantic, stinking animals allowed at our wedding will be those to whom we are directly related, thank you very much.