Gwyneth’s Mom Knows We’ve All “Fooled Around” With Botox. Right, Ladies?

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Isn’t it exciting that we live in an age where everyone’s grandma can have the smooth skin of a porcelain doll? And when we say “exciting,” we mean “terrifying.” Gwyneth Paltrow’s mother Blythe Danner is a big fan of Botox, exclaiming, “Well, I think we’ve all fooled around with [Botox]. I think, you know, we’ve got so much at our fingertips now, why not take advantage of it? There are extraordinary things that can help us now.” She’s using the word “help” in the broadest possible sense, right? From a medical standpoint, paralyzing your face with toxins isn’t very helpful at all.

Not that Danner is okay with all plastic surgery; she really only approves of the kind that keeps her skin looking like a baby’s butt. “I mean I can’t stand the big, puffy lips. That stuff is just crazy! And the cheekbones that come out to here! I feel like, ‘Why do they think they have to do that?’” she scoffed. Isn’t that like the weirdly-smooth-skinned pot calling the collagen-injected kettle black? Besides, we paid a lot of money for these lips!

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