Dina Lohan Calls The FBI Over Lindsay’s Stalker

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Lindsay Lohan

You might not care about Lindsay Lohan‘s stalker scare, but the federal government…might. TMZ reports that Dina Lohan has contacted the FBI over creepy anonymous texts she and her children have been receiving. Apparently, warnings to Lindsay that she’s being watched were just the beginning—now Dina and Michael Jr. are being told to stay away from papa Michael Lohan and Sam Lufti, Britney Spears‘ ex-manager. Hey, what a coincidence—Lufti’s the guy Dina thinks is sending the texts! Think Lindsay’s skin is at terror level orange yet?

Michael Lohan has admitted that Lufti texted his son and daughter, but denies his partner in parasitic paternal activities is the “stalker,” even though Lufti just had a permanent restraining order put on him by an old roommate he was harassing on the internet. Clearly, we need Mulder and Scully to take on this baffling case. Remember, reverse vampires are attracted to bright light—just like Lufti and the Lohans.

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