Madonna Does Downward Dog In The Aisle Of Her Flight

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Yoga is supposed to enhance tranquility and concentration, unless of course you’re watching Madonna practice yoga in the aisle of your plane. Then those veins in your neck start throbbing and all you can think about is making ninja stars out of your copy of Sky Mall. Apparently the passengers on a recent Virgin Atlantic flight had the distinct displeasure of waiting for hours on the tarmac with Madonna before their flight deboarded…and then it got worse. “It was bad enough having to wait, but then she started doing her yoga in the aisles,” said one passenger. There’s not enough money in the world to pay a flight attendant to try and maneuver the drink cart past Mag in Child’s Pose.

“After about an hour, a bus came along and took her and her party of about 15 off the plane. It seemed a ­little unfair—it’s not like she is the President or anything. The rest of us all had to wait for another two hours,” the eye witness continued. It’s not Madonna’s fault! If she doesn’t do yoga by 8:00pm sharp, a bunch of little Madonnas start popping out of her back. And god help you if feed her gluten-free acai berry granola after midnight. God help you.

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