1. Cup Cake Wars (Food Network)
Cupcake Wars is a Food Network show in which contestants go head to head to see who can make the best cupcakes. Basically, whoever doesn’t make a dry cupcake wins. And If you’ve ever watched the show, you for sure hate the host. But, for those of you who haven’t ever watched the show, let’s see if you can hate the host just from looking at a picture of him.
Yup! You can! And way to hop on the cupcake trend in a timely manner, Food Network. I hope Pannini Fracases is a big hit for you guys next season.
2. Teach: Tony Danza (A&E)
This A&E reality show followed Tony Danza as he attempted to teach a high school English class in Philadelphia. It was a nightmare. And while it was fascinating to watch exactly one time, is one of the worst reality shows in the history of television. There will be PhD dissertations about this show. In five years there will be students majoring in Tony Danza Self Awareness.
3. The Hasselhoffs (A&E)
The Hasselhoffs was another A&E reality show that came right on the heals of Teach: Tony Danza. Before, when it was said that Teach: Tony Danza was “one of the worst reality shows in the history of television,” the reason it was only “one of the worst” is because The Hasselhoffs was actually the worst. Holy sh*t. If you’re skeptical about how terrible it was, feel free to download it on iTunes and do your own research. (But, seriously, don’t because you’ll die.)
4. Sh*t My Dad Says (CBS)
Sh*t My Dad Puts On TV – Current working title for the documentary the producer’s son is working on.
5. Rubicon (AMC)
This AMC show actually began with a really promising pilot episode. It set up all these mysteries, and you ended up with all these questions. “We’ve got to get to the bottom of this conspiracy!” we all yelled. And then no questions were answered for the rest of the season. In fact, it was straight up boring. Was the conspiracy supposed to be that nothing ever happened? Good conspiracy, Rubicon! The only mystery they ever figured out on the whole show was because a 60 year old recluse happened to remember the exact day in history that somebody called Ty Cobb the n-word. What the f*ck?
6. Mike And Molly (CBS)
Apparently the original title, King Of Queens But The Wife Is Also Fat, didn’t test well with focus groups.
Here is a real live fun quote from a person who auditioned for Mike and Molly (the person will remain anonymous upon request): “Oh, yeah. I auditioned for Mike and Molly… not to be confused with Mike O’Malley.” Mega-sweet Mike O’Malley reference.
7.) Outsourced (NBC)
This is the NBC show about a guy who moves to India to keep his job. But get this. He doesn’t know anything about India LOLOLOL! Himanshu Suri of Das Racist summed it up best.
“What 20-something, college-educated American professional who would head to India before looking for a new job hasn’t ever had Indian food? At one point the main character identifies a dish as “yellow and green stuff”. You know that’s Saag Paneer dude.”
8. The Event (NBC)
This show was essentially Lost 9/11. “Get me another action drama with an airplane in the pilot. STAT!” – Every TV Executive in mid 2010
And in the second episode there was a flashback to five years ago where the main character had the exact same facial hair as he had in the present.
Get out of here, The Event.
9. Outlaw (NBC)
This is the show Dan described as “the show where Jimmy Smits puts his finger on the scale of justice.” He was right.
The show was about a Supreme Court Justice who quit to become a regular lawyer so he could be a better advocate for whatever who cares it already doesn’t make sense. That would be like if a Governor quit in the middle of a term while claiming it was to better serve the people of her state. It would never happen.
10. Lone Star (FOX)
Fox’s Lonestar was cancelled after one episode. By all accounts, it was actually a really good episode. Unfortunately they chose to let David Kieth in the cast. He was responsible for getting the show off the air solely based on him looking like Quentin Tarantino with Benjamin Button Disease.
The guy looks like an elderly baby Mr. Brown. CANCELLED!