Did Hugh Hefner Wrong Holly Madison?


holly-n-hef-550rnrnEarlier this week, the doddering 84 year-old Viagra addict and certified creep Hugh Hefner got engaged to Crystal Harris, one of his employees who is some 60 years his junior. While many gold diggers wept openly in the streets after realizing that one of the world’s most eligible octogenerian bachelors is no longer on the market, we felt particularly sympathetic for one Holly Madison, Hef’s former #1 girlfriend. After all, not only was she the star of the Girls Next Door — easily his company’s most successful project of the last twenty years — but she also had to frequently let Hef invade her in the holiest of holies.rnrnFor more gross details, read on.rnrnAccording to an excerpt of former Playmate Izabella St. James’s new book, Bunny Tales, that was published by the popular ladyblog Jezebel, Hef frequently engaged in orgies with young blondes, but would only stick his crinkly old wiener in one girl’s booty. The unlucky victim? Holly Madison, of course:rn

At around midnight, Hef would take his Viagra; it was always wrapped in a crumpled Kleenex (although Holly bought him a nice Tiffany pillbox once, he always stuck to his habits).rnrnHef would lie on his back in the middle of the bed, and as some of us were getting stoned or drinking Dom, he would cover himself in baby oil. Many of the girls he slept with would get yeast infections, which they blamed on the baby oil…Holly would start off the festivities by orally pleasuring Hef until he became erect…when it was confirmed that no one else wanted to “go,” it would be Holly’s turn to assume the position. (That appeared to be the distinguishing mark of the number one Girlfriend—not only was she the only one who had sex with him regularly, but she was the only girl that ever had that particular kind of sex with Hef.) Holly was always quick and full of moans and groans and “oh daddy” shout-outs. After that came to the grand finale: Hef masturbated while watching the porn, and Holly sucked on his nipple.rn

rnrnFirst, ew. Second, ew. Third? Ew.rnrnSo, what did Holly get out of consistently letting Hef in her back door? Well, obvs, she got money and fame, but if you believed what you saw on the first five seasons of the Girls Next Door, all she really wanted was to get married to the old perv. Sadly, Hef never proposed; instead, he dumped her back in October 2008, only to get engaged to another blonde Playmate a little over two years later. rnrnWhat say you, dear FABLife reader? Did Holly deserve to get dumped? Is Hef a creep? Will he ever actually marry Crystal Harris? How much money would it take you to get it on with Hef?rnrn[Photo: Getty Images]

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