Last week, I posted a trailer for a 2010 straight-to-DVD movie called Cool Dog. The movie looked really insane and awful. But, just to make sure, I watched it instantly on Netflix. It, in fact, was really insane and awful. I certainly don’t recommend anyone watching this movie, but there are exactly five things things about it that are important.
1. The amount of lines containing the phrase “cool dog.”
2. The amount of times there are unnecessary post-production cutaways to the dog doing ridiculous things both with and without fake paws.
3. A brief discussion of elephant farts.
4. The way one of the villains says the word “dog.”
5. An overt allusion to violently sodomizing a dog.
I have put all five of these things into one easily watchable minute and eleven second video so that you don’t have to watch the whole movie. I just saved you all an enormous amount of time. In lieu of flowers, please send donations to Sarah McLachlan’s dogs. She seriously has the least healthy dogs.
So, that’s it! That was everything from Cool Dog you needed to see. Go home and hug the thing in your house that is most like a dog.