Javier Bardem Opens Up About Working The Pole

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Chris Rock always warned parents to keep their daughters off the pole, but he didn’t mention anything about their sons. We guess now that he has an Oscar nomination under his belt, Javier Bardem can discuss his stripping career. “I did it as a joke, for some friends at first. But a guy in the bar we were in spotted me and hired me for the next day,” Javier admits. Doesn’t this basically imply that Javier was already hanging out in a male strip club, in order for this to happen? No judgments!

While most of us are imagining Penelope Cruz’s baby daddy as a tip-drill of unlimited talent, it turns out Bardem was roughty 10,000 times less sexy than we would have hoped. “I was so bad, I did it to “Leave Your Hat On”, and I had to get my mother and sister to cheer me on,” Bardem admits. Thank god Javier found something he is actually good at; most moms only carry a limited number of bills at a time. Now if he wants to be showered by $20s, he can just hit the ATM and stand in front of a Vornado in the privacy of his own home.

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