On first glance, Charlie Sheen‘s offer to pay the crew of Two And A Half Men while he’s in rehab seems downright noble: it’s his fault they’re not filming, so it’s only right for him to atone. However, there’s a bit of a catch. Sheen says he’ll pay a 1/3rd of the wages if his network, CBS, and show producers, Warner Bros., each chip in a 1/3rd as well. Are they really going to cough that up for the three months the star’s supposed in rehab? Oh wait, long-time addict Charlie is only going to rehab for a month. Only…here’s the kicker: Charlie says he’s ready to go back to work next week, just half a month after a mid-week bender sent Sheen to the emergency room. Hey, Charlie didn’t drink during the Super Bowl, what more does he have to prove?
CBS tells TMZ the show won’t go back into production until the end of February at the earliest, so the porn star-loving party monster will at least have to stay clean until then. But his offer in regards to the crew seems less like a gesture of kindness and more a form of blackmail—by arguing that CBS and NBC continue to pay the crew, he’s set to make them lose even more than they would otherwise every week he’s off set (some said a three-month rehab stint could cost the show north of $250 million). And since the show is still the biggest sitcom on TV, nobody’s even thinking about just canceling the moneymaker. Whether or not Charlie’s determined to live out his drug-abusing lifestyle, he’s certainly still got his wits about him.