Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Keeps Getting Closer To Porn Without Being Porn


I’ve made fun of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue before, mostly because its continued existence and promotion in a world where anyone can instantly watch endless free pornography by blinking confamuses me (confused-amusement), but in continued defiance of the existence of the internet, SI rolled out their 2011 Swimsuit Issue this week.

Notice, however, that the SI Swimsuit Issue gets a liiiiiitle closer to being pornography every year without ever actually getting there. Here’s this year’s cover model, Irina Shayk:

“Alllllmost there…” – Guy From Star Wars

It’s almost as if SI acknowledges that their pics can no longer compete in a netscape awash with instaporn, and continue to keep making their magazine closer and closer to just being porn, but also realize they can’t actually ever just make their magazine porn, cause then it’d just be porn.

This SI Porn Conundrum can be visually represented in the following asymptotic porn-graph:

Closer and closer but never quiiiiiite touching the porn. Maybe someday, if they ever put out an imaginary issue.

(via The Graph, I mean, not the swimsuit pic.)

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