Charlie Sheen Thanks Firefighters Who Responded To Porn Party 911 Call

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The brave, diligent men and women of the Los Angeles Fire Department took more time off from fighting actual fires when Charlie Sheen visited the firefighters who responded to the 911 call from his mansion. “It was the hernia heard ’round the world!,” the actor joked about Sheen’s hospitalization for a hiatal hernia on January 27, which apparently we are all still pretending was completely unrelated to the drug-filled marathon porn party he was hosting at the time. Sheen gave the entire crew Leathermans, or multi-tools that include a knife, which will presumably come in handy if they have to cut Charlie down from a sex swing or saw through a pair of faux-fur handcuffs. “These guys are like George C. Scott, with a capital C! Hardcore,” Sheen crowed. And if there’s anything Charlie knows well, it’s anything hardcore.

During his trip, Charlie also got to try on a pair of fire-resistant pants, which we’re assuming were left covered in a fine white powder. “Compared to me, these guys are true heroes,” Charlie told TMZ. Compared to you, the mailman is a true hero, Charlie. Actually, the mailman has to get close enough to Sheen’s house to hear the insane debauchery coming from inside, so maybe he deserves one of those fancy knives too. And a hug.

[Photo: Getty Images]