If you thought that Charlie Sheen‘s incredible, indecipherable rant on The Alex Jones Show was the last you’d hear from him on the subject of Two and A Half Men creator (and mortal enemy) Chuck Lorre, you were so unbelievably wrong. Charlie, still on vacay Ã‚Â in the Bahamas (minus Brooke Mueller, who has reportedly checked out of Sheen’s porn-party-posseÃ‚Â ), told TMZ he wants to take Lorre on in an octagon and basically kick his ass. If Lorre won in this hypothetical face-off, Sheen—or the crazy delusional ranter formerly known as Charlie Sheen—said , “If he wins, then he can leave MY show.” And then proceeded to state exactly what he thought of Lorre saying, “I violently hate Chaim Levine (Chuck Lorre). He’s a stupid, stupid little man and a p—y punk that I’d never want to be like. And that’s me being polite.” Charlie ended the rant with, “You can tell him [Lorre] one thing. I own him.”
Nice move, Charlie. Real nice. Now CBS and Warner Brothers have shut down production of Two and a Half Men for the rest of the season thanks to, “…the totality of Charlie Sheen’s statements, conduct and condition…” Who owns who, huh? How about hazarding a wild guess as to how Sheen responded to this news? You guessed it… another rant. This time Sheen chose to pour his vitriol into an open letter, as TMZ reported again. An excerpt of this beautifully eloquent note reads, “I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can’t handle my power and can’t handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists…”
Told you it was amazing. We’re actually tired of this now, and that’s saying something. So for everybody’s sake, Charlie…just shut up.