Update: Charlie Sheen Gets Ultimate Fighting Offer, A Talk Show, Isn’t Racist, Our Head Hurts

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Where to even begin when writing an update on this Charlie Sheen insanity explosion that keeps raining down upon us? Let’s start with the craziest things first, shall we? Earlier we reported that Sheen, in one of his rants against Two And A Half Men creator Chuck Lorre said that he would be thrilled to fight Lorre in an octagon. Well, lucky for Sheen, Ultimate Fighting Championship boss Dana White wants to make that happen and has offered Charlie use of his octagon if he and Lorre want to throw down. Thanks for enabling Sheen’s insane, violent fantasy, Dana White! Sheen also fought back against the accusation that he was Anti-Semitic when he referred to Lorre as “Chaim Levine” in his rant. Sheen clarified to TMZ, saying “I was referring to Chuck by his real name, because I wanted to address the man, not the bulls— TV persona. So you’re telling me, anytime someone calls me Carlos Estevez, I can claim they are anti-Latino?” Oh, Carlos, no, we just don’t know what to make of anything you say at all anymore.

Next on the docket of craziness is the fact that Sheen claims he is working on a deal with HBO to host his own talk show for $5 million an episode. “I’m close to securing a deal with HBO for a 10 show guarantee,” Sheen told Radar, also noting that it will be called Sheen’s Corner. That’s pretty lucky that he made this deal so soon—we mean like, minutes—after it was announced that Two And A Half Men was halting production for the year.  “It will be epic, all types of guests and we will focus on the truth and the absurd!” says Sheen of his hypothetical new show, not realizing that the real truth is that he is absurd. Hilariously, HBO has completely denied that they are working with Sheen. (Whew! We wouldn’t want to lose faith in our HBO.)

As always, we’ll keep our ears open for the next bit of Sheen-related craziness, we’re sure it’s in the pipes already.

[Photo: Getty Images]