LOOK WHO’S DANCING: Kirstie Alley Joining DWTS!

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The new slate of stars competing in the next season of Dancing with the Stars has been released. And OK, it’s a little bland. For every Ralph Macchio and Wendy Williams you have your Chris Jericho’s and Chelsea Lane’s (seriously who is this person?). But there is one person, one Queen, who has been cast on the show that we will almost certainly tune in and root for. There is no font big enough to announce her, but we’ll try:

KIRSTIE
ALLEY

(That is seriously the biggest font this blog will let me use.)

I lahlahlahlooooove Kirstie Alley. I was one of exactly one people who watched her Showtime show Fat Actress (the same sentence can be applied to the Showtime show Episodes), and have always felt badly for her given the media’s scrutiny of her weight fluctuation. The media has been all too cruel to Kirstie, stopping short of tying 5,000 balloons to her back and marveling at her bobbing physique struggling to float into heaven like the house in Up.

Why the love for Kirstie? Because she is completely insane. Like Charlie Sheen, Tiger blood drinking, face melting from Mars crazy.

And even better? She can actually kinda dance!! The proof is in the 1990s pudding.

From the Academy Award winning movie On The Waterfront Look Who’s Talking, one of the most adorable dance sequences ever. You know Kirstie’s still go it.

Yes, I actually have Gene Pitney’s “Town Without Pity” on my Ipod thanks to this scene.

In conclusion: EVERYONE VOTE FOR KIRSTIE ALLEY ON DANCING WITH THE STARS! Let the woman finally win something.

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