We know you’ve been dying to listen to Kim Kardashian’s new song “Jam (Turn It Up).” Maybe you’ve sneered to your friends about how annoying the Kardashians are. Maybe you’ve even pretended not to know who Kim is, but you don’t have to hide the truth from us. Just close the door to your office, plug in your headphones, and let the tinny nasal sounds of Kim’s Auto-tuned voice wash over you. It feels pretty good, doesn’t it?
That being said, we love the cheesiest Euro-pop imaginable, but even we think Kim sounds like she’s reading out of the phone book into a Talkgirl Deluxe. An excited Kardashian wrote about her single on her blog, gushing “This was definitely something that was out of my comfort zone,” which we guess implies that she isn’t comfortable talking over a dance beat. “But I’m so glad that I met with The Dream and that we worked on this project together,” Kim said. “It was really an amazing experience recording in the studio and filming the music video and I can’t wait for you all to see the video.” Part of the single’s proceeds goes to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. Alright, now you can go back to reading the Atlantic and listening to your Captain Beefheart records while being culturally superior. At least until Kim Kardashian’s music video drops, that is.