Charlie Sheen announced he was writing a book yesterday, though the actor might want to wait until the most insane tale of our times finishes writing itself first. “the title of my book has finally been delivered thru vast and extensive Lunar channels. “Apocalypse Me” Warlock Latin for WINNING. c,” Sheen tweeted. High school English teachers should just go ahead and add it to the curriculum now; this is pretty much the best American authors have to offer.
Charlie already has a new name to add to his Acknowledgments page next to Mel Gibson and Sean Penn, now that Russell Brand texted Sheen his support. “He is a b*tchin’ dude,” Sheen told RadarOnline about Brand. “It’s radical… it’s just love, to see a giant marquee name come through on your caller ID, it’s like, winning!” Meanwhile, two ladies that deserve at least their own chapter (right between “How Gnarly Is Too Gnarlicious?” and “How To Get Tiger Blood Out Of Raw Silk”) might get edited out entirely if they aren’t careful. Sheen is threatening a custody battle with Denise Richards after reportedly settling his disputes with Brooke Mueller. “Not sure what all the legal noise is about… just verbally reached a deal with B. no court mon. yay….,” Sheen tweeted yesterday. Meanwhile, Brooke Mueller’s Sheen drama will appear on her reality show The World According To Paris, which she stars in with Paris Hilton. Of course, if books aren’t really your thing, there’s always the new SiriusXM Charlie Sheen station. All Charlie news, all the time: just the way books, radio and the Internet were meant to be.