Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen canceled their court date today in hopes of a settlement, but we think the actor’s ex-wife shouldn’t budge. Whatever Mueller’s dependency issues may be, she didn’t wave a machete atop the Live Nation building yesterday before drinking from a bottle labeled “Tiger Blood”—two things any judge would look poorly upon from a violent former convict seeking unmonitored visits with his small children. We’re also guessing the judge won’t like last night’s episode of Charlie Sheen’s Korner, which had him smoking through his nose and complaining about the trolls in his phone. “If you own the home, in which you own the trashcan, you should never have to empty it,” announced Charlie for no apparent reason, suggesting he might need a monitor whether or not the kids are around.
Meanwhile, producer/nemesis Chuck Lorre and his team are reportedly working their way through a shortlist of potential Sheen replacements for Two And A Half Men‘s likely return. But can they find a middle-aged former partyboy who isn’t pals with Kid Charlemagne? The previously pondered John Stamos was threatened by Sheen on Piers Morgan (“You’re a lovely man, but…I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t forget anything. You know?”) and may have written the first Amazon review of Sheen’s 1990 poetry book A Peace Of My Mind, which Sheen brought up reprinting on the Korner. TMZ says Rob Lowe is being considered, but the actor was brat-pack buddies with Sheen’s brother Emilio Estevez back in the day (and is starring on Parks And Recreation now), so it seems unlikely he’ll bite. Plus, the guy must know Charlie would bite back.