Charlie Sheen Attacks Chuck Lorre On His Korner: “You Little Worm…Ugly Whore”

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The new Life & Style may have Charlie Sheen admitting he’s in trouble (“I’m really starting to lose my mind, I’m ready to call anyone to help”), but he hardly sounded apologetic on last night’s missive from Charlie Sheen’s Korner. Instead of sharing another of Charlie’s manic phone calls with twitter collaborator Rob Maron, this episode was clearly pre-written, with Sheen giving a poetic, Beat-styled beatdown of his former employers (“oh, how they once begged to attend my perfect banquet in the nude, now they just beg for the keys to my gold”), with Men producer Chuck Lorre getting the worst of it (“think of me often, loser, during your most quiet moments…think of me as you pray to your silly god, AA…can you smell your soul? Can you smell the rotting dogs—?”).

Delivered directly to the camera, Sheen’s language is both incoherent (“undigested hummus trading real estate for this fire dance”) and stunning (“here is my unwanted guest list, their names slightly altered to keep their stench from polluting my magic daiquiri”). If you’re not completely sick of the guy, it’s easily the most fascinating and watchable of his online rants. Watch the episode and read more choice quotes after the jump.

  • “To quote my lawyer, really s—ty s—ty suck suck.”
  • “Now that I have your lazy f—ing attention, world, sit back and rejoice. For the Malibu messiah…the f—ing warlock of your jealous face, sits before you.”
  • [On CBS head Les Moonves] “Part scoundrel, part…my hair to the side. Screw less, I proclaim! Or better yet, screw more.”
  • [On Warner Bros. exec Peter Roth] “Trust not your evil overlords, they will discard you and then abandon your precious family…Sheen’s Korner could use the bright and sterling presence you led with from day one. You have my digits—use them! Show your courage, Peter…come dance in my gold.”
  • [On Chuck Lorre's attempt to revive Men] “Good luck with those tin cans, s— brain, in the mush mouth of some pathetic carcass you so arrogantly attempted to trade out for this warlock.”
  • [To Lorre] “Can you smell your mother’s tears, from some distant memory as she scattered her pathetic creation, asking all around her why this feeble abortion survived?”
  • “If sad and stupid had a foul odor attached to it, it would be you….F— Bore-e”

And that’s just the half of it. Will Chuck slap a response on another closing credit text-card?

[Photo: WYTV]

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