A Snake Bit A Model’s Fake Breast And Then Died

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The Daily News Reported yesterday afternoon that a snake that had bitten Israeli model Orit Fox‘s fake breast has now died of silicon poisoning. (The guy in the picture is a guy, not the snake.)

Orit Fox‘s attempt at seductive posing with a massive boa took a bizarre turn when the snake bit one of the Israeli B-Lister’s surgically enhanced breasts in the middle of a shoot for a Tel Aviv radio station, ABC of Spain reported. All was going well for the silicone-addicted Fox until she tried to ramp up the sex factor by licking the snake. The move proved costly as she loosened her grip on the reptile, which went straight for the model’s left breast implant and latched onto it for several seconds before being pulled off by an assistant. Fox was rushed to a local hospital, where she was given a tetanus shot. According to several media sources, the snake wasn’t so lucky and died of silicone poisoning.

The video below shows the snake biting her. But what we really should get into here is not the micro-issue of a snake biting an implant. We should instead explore the macro-issue that is this question: Why was any of this even happening in the first place?

Who wants a real snake and a plastic looking lady? This is such a lazy approximation of sex appeal it’s astounding. It’s as if aliens put this scene together for us based on one clip from Wayne’s World and a claymation remake of a Baywatch episode. “Am I right, you guys?!” the Aliens would say collectively, seeking approval for their creation. “No. Good God, no,” The people of earth would respond as one.

Go ahead. Watch the snake bite her. It’s the only thing left to do before we all get taken up to the weird alien strip club mother ship.

Thanks for the tip, Ashley.

UPDATE/CORRECTION: It turns out the snake didn’t die. The Daily Mail and the Daily News picked up a joke from ONTD as part of the story by accident. The rest is still accurate. Sorry, guys. Congratulations, snake. And thanks to Rich Juzwiak’s comprehensive Tweet for clearing that up.